In my life I’ve made tons of wrong decisions. For example, taking up a course I completely have no idea about. Thank God I met Paul during our third year in college which prevented me from shifting to Architecture, I’d probably be still stuck in school by now. But what if I just grabbed the opportunity and shifted anyway? Would I have had a different life then?
Some thoughts have been occurring to me lately, and right now when I’m supposed to be sleeping, I’m thinking about the choices I made and the choices that other people made because of me. The what if’s always played around my head like a broken top.
I guess what I’m trying to put out is that this is me. I am a collection of past errors and mistakes and I feel that I can’t make things right. It’s true that our choices make us who we are but there is a great deal of ourselves being made while we are making those decisions.
I think I’m done with thinking about the things that might have been. I need to start focusing on my life right now and where I want to go. Because honestly, I feel that it is going to be a looong journey. Plans are good but in life things are never in accordance with what we think we want so why bother.
Looking at this photo I remember that we were on top of a hill and Paul wanted to take a photo of me. I didn’t want to so I went and tried to grab the camera from him. Unknowingly though, he pressed the shutter and captured me in my true-est form. It’s sometimes unbelievable how he brings out the best in me.
Right now, I told him I want to live in Japan for a year, take up a second degree and not a masters unlike most people with sense would, pursue my insatiable want and happiness in art. He pushes me like I won’t make a fool of myself and I just go on ahead because I know he’ll catch me when I trip over.
With this, I’d like to thank whoever is reading this. This is a ridiculously long piece of nonsense that wasted 312.24 seconds of your life, but still.
Antipolo, Rizal | April 2014
Ricoh 35 efl | Solid Gold 200 | 04.2014